plate_builder | Open Post

That was probably more for Tseng's benefit than yours.

[ unnecessary quip, but he's still feeling moody. he doesn't like being told no or put in his place, which honestly sort of really outlines a quality in him that few often overlook for what it is: reno grew up here. in this building, raised by the people in it. he's as much a shinra brat as most of the actual shinra brats, children of the top brass and that sort of thing. he's really embraced being spoiled by this life, but if you knew where he came from, could you blame him? he's sure reeve would get it. not that he's about to go telling him that, don't be stupid. he just shakes his head and leans against the glass. ]

I'm not a kid anymore; I can do what I want.

[ not technically an answer. ]

[What a silly idea. Like Tseng had ever needed protected from him. Still, Reeve shrugs and makes sure the final reports feed in and takes his document receipt before moving back toward the elevators.]

I doubt you ever got to be a kid.

[ ... hm. does he dare? only after those elevator doors are closed, maybe. ]

What makes you say that?

[Reeve considers it carefully. It's hard to really explain a lot of how he feels about the way Reno acts. How the man doesn't deal well with disappointment. How when he finds something he wants, he doesn't share well. How he hasn't learned to deal with his emotions either.]

It's just an impression I get from you.

Well, yeah, but...

[ hmph. he almost, almost smirks. ]

You worried you'll say something that'll get me all upset again?

Yes.

[It's a simple answer, and he knows it's the best choice to be had. Lying would earn a lot worse.]

I can take it. C'mon, I won't get mad.

[ how much worse can it get? ]

[Reeve waits until they are in the elevator to answer.]

You handle emotions and affection poorly.

[ well. yeah. ]

What's that got to do with not bein' a kid?

Those are things most children learn as they grow up, interact with people their own age and adults around them, and grow and learn. I suspect you lacked that.

[ ah. well... yeah, what would he know about that, really? adults, never had any of those. not until he got here, and those were all, y'know, shinra adults. they didn't exactly go easy on him, either. Reno's head tilts, then he shrugs, a little uncomfortably, but otherwise in acquiescence of the point. and without getting mad, like he said! ]

I did.

[Which, Reeve supposes, is what led to this fixation on him.]

I was kind to you, and did not have to be. It wasn't because of corporate structure or because I wanted something from you or wanted you to do something. Early on in your time here, I was kind to you because that is who I am. And that, combined with being warned to stay away from me, led to a fixation.

A fixation? Oh, come on. It's not like that.

[ that sounds suspiciously like a crush, and that's... well, exactly what it was, honestly, but if reno knows that, he's not acknowledging it. reno shakes his head. hey, at least he isn't angry? ]

I just wanted to know what you were made of. It was just so... fucking weird. I thought maybe you just didn't know I wasn't some intern or something. But I followed you around for awhile and no, you just—are really like that. To everybody.

[ just... casually admitting he stalked him... but it "wasn't a fixation" whatever, okay. ]

[That... makes him uncomfortable. Like being stalked by a guard hound and not knowing it.]

So, now that you know, you finally took the time to seek me out to get the idea of me in bed out of your mind?

...No. I could've just sat on that forever.

[ reeve probably won't believe him, but he really could have. hey, if he's parked his feelings for rude in a back lot and doesn't plan to ever let them see the light of day, then reeve is easy mode. they barely even have a reason to cross paths half the time. ]

I just didn't appreciate your assessment of me. Wanted to prove you wrong.

Which part. Your assumption that I believed that you had no feelings, or my actual statement that I didn't think you could become involved in an intimate relationship that had a basis in an emotional connection?

Both? What the fuck is the difference?

[ ...dude. he really doesn't know. ]

The first is what you proved today, and what you incorrectly ascribe to me as having said. I know you have emotions, Reno. But anger is not sexy. The latter...

[How do you even explain it.]

I know I will not likely find long term love, but that doesn't mean I don't like an emotional connection to my lovers. Not anger and spite. I want mutual attraction. Tenderness. A soft sort of affection, even in bed. These are things I've never seen you display. Not toward myself at least.

That doesn't mean I can't do it.

[ not that he's done a great job of it today, but he was going to try. before his temper got the better of him and the only thing he felt like doing was asserting himself the only way he knows how to effectively do so. reno folds his arms, back against the glass, watching them drop floor after floor. ]

There's nothing I can't do.

But wanting to do it is a good part of it. Willing yourself to let go of control. Being open to letting the other person probably hurt you.

Perhaps you could do it, but the vulnerability I need and give? It's not something you want.

[ yeah, it all sails over his head. it just sounds like a whole lot of why the hell would you want to put yourself through that to him. the lack of comprehension is clear on his face, but he's not about to be made to feel stupid for the nth time tonight. he wipes the look off his face and stands up straight, frowning. ]

Yeah, well, maybe I'm curious. That counts as "wanting" to, doesn't it?

It does. It does indeed, but...

[How does he explain it to someone who doesn't understand.]

You don't want me. You want the idea of proving to me that I'm wrong.

So? Does it matter? Want is want, it doesn't have to be that complicated.

[ is there a difference? wanting someone because you want them or because there's another reason, who cares? and he's not about to say it, but maybe he wants it just to prove it to himself more than anything. he steps closer. ]

Maybe I wanna relive how you made me feel when I was fifteen. That's what you're talking about, right? Shit like that.

[See, now that is the sort of statement that can make Reeve lose the confidence and authority of speech that came with all his years of experience. That... is a very different experience, entirely. The idea of being desired to rekindle the more nervous, shy, uncertain desires of Reno's youth? He doesn't know what to do with that.]

And was what you had tonight sufficient for that?

[ reno's watching him carefully, so you better believe he's about to pick apart every detail of his reaction in search of the actual answer, besides what he says out loud. the unsure look in his eyes kind of... confuses him, too. shit, did he get it wrong? he thought maybe he was onto something with figuring this whole thing out. ]

No. Not even close.

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