plate_builder | [Open Post]

Really? Rufus, you wanted to learn about these people, see them, have a reason to care, and this is what you are doing now? Reeve shakes his head.

"There were a lot of construction companies in Midgar before the fall. Many of those who do reconstruction work now have apprenticed with the ones I worked with at first. More are being taken in by the construction groups you were paying to do work. It's on the job training with skilled and experienced workers teaching them. Mostly we're forced to work more apprenticeship routes for a lot of things. Now do you want to learn more about these people or do you want to ask questions?"

The shake of head seems to amuse Rufus, if his chuckle is any indication, and although he looks back to the image, he notes something.

"Asking questions is learning. But I'll be quiet if you prefer."

"If that's how you learn, I don't mind having a conversational student," Reeve admits as he flips into the next image, a woman in overalls with a welder's mask. "This is one of my team managers. Rhonica was a welder for Shinra, on reactor maintenance. When we started calling for skilled construction workers for the hospital, she jumped at it. Said her work hurt people, because a well built reactor wouldn't have blown like the one AVALANCHE hit did. She had two kids before Meteor. Her son Ryan works as a medic in one of the smaller clinics in town. Her daughter didn't make it. She's taking less pay and more overtime hours. Not working with machinery then. Just supervising for safety adherence. Her request? She wants something named for her daughter in the hospital. There's now a family waiting room with her name on it."

The stories always break his heart, remembering them as much as telling them. It's very clear from his tone, from how he looks at the picture, that Reeve cares about these people. Deeply too. There are hundreds more like these, and Reeve will happily leave the audio files and video interviews for Rufus to review on his own.

There isn't much Rufus can say, since there's no question to ask around this story, though he does wonder. Reeve had seemed so worried whether he would be able to find help, and here he seems to have found plenty.

There are different kinds of help. And while these people improve the project, they are few and far between.

Not to mention not one of them can help shoulder the burdens Reeve himself has. The closest he could get to that is Rufus, and that is a complication all its own.

For the next half hour Reeve flips through photos and talks about the people there. Stacey who used to be at the Honeybee and now works hard to try and run a soup kitchen, one which was going to go under except for some money Reeve managed to untangle from Rufus. Daniel who helps organize volunteering scavengers in Midgar's ruins. Casey and Samuel and Shane who watch kids while adults are working. Sad stories too. People whose needs were there and couldn't be helped in time. People who inspired Reeve. People who gave money to the projects he ran. After a while of flipping there's an image of an older woman who looks a good bit like Reeve if you're really looking at it. That one Reeve flips past quickly. While he would share her with others, he isn't sure how much he would want to share with Rufus.

After a while, though, he has to get up and walk around a bit. Think him an idiot for it if you want, but he's emotionally invested in these people and these goals. In helping them. He can't be anything less.

"I can leave that for you, for the videos and the like," he says as he starts to pace.

Reeve isn't dumb enough to think Rufus didn't see that photo or how he reacted, but Rufus is also not dumb enough to say anything. He's well aware of the blame he holds for what happened to the woman, and so only watches Reeve pace.

"You'll think this cold, but I'll say it anyway." If Reeve stops to look, he will find that the words remain cold but the reason to them is actual concern. "Find a way to separate yourself from people sometimes. Otherwise, you'll burn yourself out."

"These people are the reason I work so hard," Reeve counters, turning to look at Rufus and frowning harshly at him. "That's the difference between us, Rufus. It's in how we were raised. How we see the world. I see the people, what I can do for them. What I should do for them. But you? Your father saw people as a commodity, chattel even. They were a means to the end of his wealth and power. His dominance. He raised you to seek to profit, not to seek to rule. Rulers look after their people. Care for them. You were raised away from people and don't see them and their needs for what they are. You're numbers and business and..."

He sighs and turns away again, once again pacing. "You should have been raised aware of the people. As one of them. As a leader. Like... like you are for the Turks. And I was raised to care. I can't help that it's deeply. I live for these people, Rufus. And I will give every last drop of myself for them."

"And then what?" He stays calm somehow, watching still closely. Hadn't they had this discussion already? "You are so intent to work yourself to your grave."

"What else is there but this?" Reeve asks with a sigh as he turns to look at Rufus. Yes, they have had this discussion already. "Do not mistake me, Rufus. I intend to live a good long time, but this work is... important. It's bigger than me, bigger than you, bigger than anything. Saving the world doesn't end with stopping Meteor. This is where a different sort of work comes in, and I'm dedicating myself to it. Besides, what else is there to take up my energy?"

There's passion in his every word, an undeniable fire that says Reeve believes this, perhaps like he believes nothing else. This is something he can do for the good for the world, and he's going to do it. And do it well at that. Yet... he gets the need to not burn himself out.

"For that matter, who else is there to share the weight with? I'm alone in leading this. It's my hope that Jasper will help carry some of the weight when he joins me, but this is the sort of work that needs administration, and right now, there's only me on that level. It's part of why I need the WRO up as soon as I can get it. Delegation. Coworkers. People to share this with."

A way not to be alone.

"You won't be satisfied. You're already not satisfied, even though you have people." He indicates the pad Reeve had been showing him everything on. "You've decided to dedicate yourself to a cause that you believe in, but has no end. Rebuild Edge, then what? Some other town? Where you'll start over, and will still not truly trust anyone to do what only you can do.

"You don't realize it, Reeve, but you're using this rebuilding to ignore every negative emotion you have had since working with ShinRa. Trying to redeem yourself, even if it kills you. The irony in this? You're blaming me so you don't have to face what scares you. And worse," he holds up his Stigma'd hand, the smirk on his face lacking. "I'm already dying, slowly, the one of us who has the most responsibility, and you're trying to match me.

"And, please, try to tell me I'm completely wrong."

"Why shouldn't I blame you?" Reeve asks, and there's real anger in him as he turns on Rufus. "After all your father's company did? After all you did? All I did? And that still wasn't enough. Not for you, not for Shinra, not for anyone. You took everything from me, Rufus. The city I loved and tried to protect. The job I lived for. The people I knew, my neighbors, my friends. My mother. You even took the one thing that gave me peace, the one hobby that wasn't for your damn company, and you turned it into a weapon!"

Chances are, though, Rufus is right. That there is just too much pain in Reeve, and he won't face it. He'd argue he's too busy to do it. At least this way he gets to do some good along the way.

He just smiles as Reeve rants. He knows all this; through Reeve, through actually listening to the man, though he wonders if that would surprise him any. Probably not, though what he would be surprised at is he had listened without any mocking in his own head.

Once the man seems done venting, Rufus shrugs and spreads his hands a little as if opening himself. "Then take it out on me, not yourself."

"This is what I have left," Reeve counters, his back to Rufus at this point. He just can't look at the man. "For all that most of these people hate me, or fear that I'm going to be the next bad thing the Shinra company throws at them, this is all I have left. So yes, I will throw myself at it with all of my heart. Because it's the only thing you've left me, cleaning up your mess."

And if it's all he gets, then he's doing it right.

"I'll dump water on you again, Reeve." It's said with a deep sigh. "Or maybe I should just slap you upside the head."

That gets Reeve taking a few steps away from Rufus before turning back to look at him.

"Between the two of us, I'd rather take invested in these people's lives than seemingly incapable of feeling."

Edited 2018-10-16 01:52 (UTC)

"You're an idiot." There's a hint of annoyance in his eyes and his voice, and it's obvious his words aren't being measured this time. "Do I have to spell it out for you what I'm trying to say?"

"Well, as you believe I'm an idiot, I can't see that I will be able to stop you from doing so," Reeve snaps. He isn't sure he cares much what a man a decade his junior, and in ways less experienced than a child, has to say. At least not at this moment, when he's so frustrated. Because at the end of the day, at the end of any day, all he has to come home to is a kitten and these plans. No friends, no significant others, and not even his old collection of detective novels to keep him occupied.

"Fine." He stands, aware he's being dismissed in some fashion, and moves so he can make sure Reeve can't as easily turn away: indeed, ready to follow if he tries. "I've been playing monster for quite some time for you, even letting you continue to believe my only purpose in this arrangement is for some goal of my own. It seemed to make it easier for you to understand and accept my help.

"But I'm not completely heartless. I'm not my old man. But I'm also not you. Caring for people I barely know is still rather strange for me, but I can care for people i know. I know you, and I know you're being self-destructive."

"You don't know me," Reeve corrects Rufus, looking down at the man from what meager height advantage he had over the Shinra heir. "And you don't know me. If you did you would know that while this is a step or two further than normal, it's still within my normal operating parameters. Your father's company left little to no time for something other than the work when trying to scoop as many people out of disaster as possible with both hands. Back then, though, I had a staff who supported me and believed in me. What do I have now? Broken people with broken lives trying to piece things together. No staff. No second to support me. No friends at my side as the majority of my 'allies' are still leery of me because of what I did. What I was culpable in. And then I have you. The man who thinks you know me because of brief meetings and a confession that I like detective novels."

No, Rufus doesn't know him, not in the slightest. Granted, Reeve doesn't know Rufus either, not really. The glimpses they have had of each other are just that, glimpses. No pictures can really be painted from that.

"I know you, or at least human nature, well enough to see what you are doing. As you said, in ShinRa, there were others to take some of the weight. You let them. But that was before you became disillusioned, isn't it? And now, now that you're disillusioned, you fear giving any control lest it all fall apart on you.

"So you work, and you work, but it's never enough. Always something more to do, and the things around you languish, because all you see is work. You don't see those people any clearer than you think I do. Maybe you know names, but they're a way to ignore that these people are truly numbers you use to clear your conscience.

"Your life is no less broken than theirs, but you won't allow yourself the comfort of realizing that." He stops momentarily, rubbing his head a little. "What I'm trying to say, what I don't know how to say so that you understand, is that your guilt and misery is what is prohibiting you from realizing your life has value outside being a savior."

They aren't just numbers to him. Maybe he his clearing his guilt some, but they aren't just numbers. Because if they were, he wouldn't be any better than a Shinra. He's had meals with this people. Helped them. Laughed with them. He's...

Gone home alone every night and thought only of the next project. Of ways to frame their stories to get more support. Of ways to fix things that weren't always broken. Perhaps in that manner Rufus is right. He is just working. Again, Reeve would gladly hold up that the work is all he has. Helping these people is all that he is. There is always work to be done. But he'd be wrong to say that Reeve wouldn't give up control of things. He wants to. It's why he all but begged his old friend to come to Edge from Junon. So he doesn't have to do this alone. That's what the WRO will be for, so it's not just his weight to carry.

Yet it's one point that Rufus says that Reeve really disagrees with. The last one.

"My whole life I've worked toward the goal of helping people. Of making lives better. I'm not trying to be a savior, but there is undeniable value in what I'm doing, and there is no greater value than that."

Once there was also the simple pride in his mother's eyes. But that's gone. And he'll be damned if he lets these people down like he did his mother.

Rufus may be right that there is guilt and misery driving him, but it's less Shinra and more his failing her that matters.

"I give up." His tone is childish in some ways, almost as if he were speaking to a parent who refused to listen; amusing, given his life so far. And just like a scorned child, Rufus moves away as quickly as he was on Reeve, heading to the single room in the lodge to slam the door.

Maybe it was out of character, but he didn't really care, and Reeve won't have much time to consider before the front door opens and a certain red-head shows himself.

"Pissing the boss man off, huh?" Even worse for Reeve than Reno poking his head in? The shit-eating grin on his face as he speaks next. "I can tell you what's eatin' him, but you gotta join me for some of this wine."

As if to make his point, Reno dangles the bottle a bit by the door, and watches Reeven expectantly.

"Your boss, not mine," Reeve reminds the Turk. He seriously considers Reno for a long moment. All the history of pranks, the rumors around the building, a number of different things. And then he considers the wine. He brought it, he knows it's got a bit of quality to it. And with the head and heartache he's going through, it sounds like a perfectly good idea to him.

Not without some provisos first, of course.

"Clean glasses, and you sip out of both first, so I can make sure you didn't lace it with something," Reeve agrees cautiously as he moves to Reno. It's not like it would be the first time he drank with a Turk. There were holiday parties and Rude was agreeable enough when Gwahaha and Mwahaha were being annoying and attention seeking. He does remember more than a few tales of things like tranqs and powdered locoweed ending up in company punch bowls.

Reno would admit to nothing. Probably was responsible for only 80% of it.

Yet he seems to agree, moving out to the balcony area to call for Rude to bring up some glasses; obviously Tseng was not in, and then sat down to wait on Rude and Reeve.

Well at least he will have a sensible Turk around. And no Elena. The young woman irritates him with her clinging to Tseng. Which is probably just a personal issue when it comes to it. Soon enough Reeve is pouring. He could care less about the supposed answers Reno is offering. More about the wine. There's a chance Rufus will get testy if he leaves so soon after the younger man stormed off. Give it time and he can make sure he gets home.

"Rude may have to drive me back. Probably best he doesn't drink too much."

His is the only team Edward I'm on.

Haha

Re: Haha

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Sorry...?

Nah, he needed buttons pushed

Rufus is good at that

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Bedtime here... ignore Rufus, he's pms-ing xD

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