plate_builder | [Open Post]

"You won't be satisfied. You're already not satisfied, even though you have people." He indicates the pad Reeve had been showing him everything on. "You've decided to dedicate yourself to a cause that you believe in, but has no end. Rebuild Edge, then what? Some other town? Where you'll start over, and will still not truly trust anyone to do what only you can do.

"You don't realize it, Reeve, but you're using this rebuilding to ignore every negative emotion you have had since working with ShinRa. Trying to redeem yourself, even if it kills you. The irony in this? You're blaming me so you don't have to face what scares you. And worse," he holds up his Stigma'd hand, the smirk on his face lacking. "I'm already dying, slowly, the one of us who has the most responsibility, and you're trying to match me.

"And, please, try to tell me I'm completely wrong."

"Why shouldn't I blame you?" Reeve asks, and there's real anger in him as he turns on Rufus. "After all your father's company did? After all you did? All I did? And that still wasn't enough. Not for you, not for Shinra, not for anyone. You took everything from me, Rufus. The city I loved and tried to protect. The job I lived for. The people I knew, my neighbors, my friends. My mother. You even took the one thing that gave me peace, the one hobby that wasn't for your damn company, and you turned it into a weapon!"

Chances are, though, Rufus is right. That there is just too much pain in Reeve, and he won't face it. He'd argue he's too busy to do it. At least this way he gets to do some good along the way.

He just smiles as Reeve rants. He knows all this; through Reeve, through actually listening to the man, though he wonders if that would surprise him any. Probably not, though what he would be surprised at is he had listened without any mocking in his own head.

Once the man seems done venting, Rufus shrugs and spreads his hands a little as if opening himself. "Then take it out on me, not yourself."

"This is what I have left," Reeve counters, his back to Rufus at this point. He just can't look at the man. "For all that most of these people hate me, or fear that I'm going to be the next bad thing the Shinra company throws at them, this is all I have left. So yes, I will throw myself at it with all of my heart. Because it's the only thing you've left me, cleaning up your mess."

And if it's all he gets, then he's doing it right.

"I'll dump water on you again, Reeve." It's said with a deep sigh. "Or maybe I should just slap you upside the head."

That gets Reeve taking a few steps away from Rufus before turning back to look at him.

"Between the two of us, I'd rather take invested in these people's lives than seemingly incapable of feeling."

Edited 2018-10-16 01:52 (UTC)

"You're an idiot." There's a hint of annoyance in his eyes and his voice, and it's obvious his words aren't being measured this time. "Do I have to spell it out for you what I'm trying to say?"

"Well, as you believe I'm an idiot, I can't see that I will be able to stop you from doing so," Reeve snaps. He isn't sure he cares much what a man a decade his junior, and in ways less experienced than a child, has to say. At least not at this moment, when he's so frustrated. Because at the end of the day, at the end of any day, all he has to come home to is a kitten and these plans. No friends, no significant others, and not even his old collection of detective novels to keep him occupied.

"Fine." He stands, aware he's being dismissed in some fashion, and moves so he can make sure Reeve can't as easily turn away: indeed, ready to follow if he tries. "I've been playing monster for quite some time for you, even letting you continue to believe my only purpose in this arrangement is for some goal of my own. It seemed to make it easier for you to understand and accept my help.

"But I'm not completely heartless. I'm not my old man. But I'm also not you. Caring for people I barely know is still rather strange for me, but I can care for people i know. I know you, and I know you're being self-destructive."

"You don't know me," Reeve corrects Rufus, looking down at the man from what meager height advantage he had over the Shinra heir. "And you don't know me. If you did you would know that while this is a step or two further than normal, it's still within my normal operating parameters. Your father's company left little to no time for something other than the work when trying to scoop as many people out of disaster as possible with both hands. Back then, though, I had a staff who supported me and believed in me. What do I have now? Broken people with broken lives trying to piece things together. No staff. No second to support me. No friends at my side as the majority of my 'allies' are still leery of me because of what I did. What I was culpable in. And then I have you. The man who thinks you know me because of brief meetings and a confession that I like detective novels."

No, Rufus doesn't know him, not in the slightest. Granted, Reeve doesn't know Rufus either, not really. The glimpses they have had of each other are just that, glimpses. No pictures can really be painted from that.

"I know you, or at least human nature, well enough to see what you are doing. As you said, in ShinRa, there were others to take some of the weight. You let them. But that was before you became disillusioned, isn't it? And now, now that you're disillusioned, you fear giving any control lest it all fall apart on you.

"So you work, and you work, but it's never enough. Always something more to do, and the things around you languish, because all you see is work. You don't see those people any clearer than you think I do. Maybe you know names, but they're a way to ignore that these people are truly numbers you use to clear your conscience.

"Your life is no less broken than theirs, but you won't allow yourself the comfort of realizing that." He stops momentarily, rubbing his head a little. "What I'm trying to say, what I don't know how to say so that you understand, is that your guilt and misery is what is prohibiting you from realizing your life has value outside being a savior."

They aren't just numbers to him. Maybe he his clearing his guilt some, but they aren't just numbers. Because if they were, he wouldn't be any better than a Shinra. He's had meals with this people. Helped them. Laughed with them. He's...

Gone home alone every night and thought only of the next project. Of ways to frame their stories to get more support. Of ways to fix things that weren't always broken. Perhaps in that manner Rufus is right. He is just working. Again, Reeve would gladly hold up that the work is all he has. Helping these people is all that he is. There is always work to be done. But he'd be wrong to say that Reeve wouldn't give up control of things. He wants to. It's why he all but begged his old friend to come to Edge from Junon. So he doesn't have to do this alone. That's what the WRO will be for, so it's not just his weight to carry.

Yet it's one point that Rufus says that Reeve really disagrees with. The last one.

"My whole life I've worked toward the goal of helping people. Of making lives better. I'm not trying to be a savior, but there is undeniable value in what I'm doing, and there is no greater value than that."

Once there was also the simple pride in his mother's eyes. But that's gone. And he'll be damned if he lets these people down like he did his mother.

Rufus may be right that there is guilt and misery driving him, but it's less Shinra and more his failing her that matters.

"I give up." His tone is childish in some ways, almost as if he were speaking to a parent who refused to listen; amusing, given his life so far. And just like a scorned child, Rufus moves away as quickly as he was on Reeve, heading to the single room in the lodge to slam the door.

Maybe it was out of character, but he didn't really care, and Reeve won't have much time to consider before the front door opens and a certain red-head shows himself.

"Pissing the boss man off, huh?" Even worse for Reeve than Reno poking his head in? The shit-eating grin on his face as he speaks next. "I can tell you what's eatin' him, but you gotta join me for some of this wine."

As if to make his point, Reno dangles the bottle a bit by the door, and watches Reeven expectantly.

"Your boss, not mine," Reeve reminds the Turk. He seriously considers Reno for a long moment. All the history of pranks, the rumors around the building, a number of different things. And then he considers the wine. He brought it, he knows it's got a bit of quality to it. And with the head and heartache he's going through, it sounds like a perfectly good idea to him.

Not without some provisos first, of course.

"Clean glasses, and you sip out of both first, so I can make sure you didn't lace it with something," Reeve agrees cautiously as he moves to Reno. It's not like it would be the first time he drank with a Turk. There were holiday parties and Rude was agreeable enough when Gwahaha and Mwahaha were being annoying and attention seeking. He does remember more than a few tales of things like tranqs and powdered locoweed ending up in company punch bowls.

Reno would admit to nothing. Probably was responsible for only 80% of it.

Yet he seems to agree, moving out to the balcony area to call for Rude to bring up some glasses; obviously Tseng was not in, and then sat down to wait on Rude and Reeve.

Well at least he will have a sensible Turk around. And no Elena. The young woman irritates him with her clinging to Tseng. Which is probably just a personal issue when it comes to it. Soon enough Reeve is pouring. He could care less about the supposed answers Reno is offering. More about the wine. There's a chance Rufus will get testy if he leaves so soon after the younger man stormed off. Give it time and he can make sure he gets home.

"Rude may have to drive me back. Probably best he doesn't drink too much."

Rude probably won't say much, but he will at least keep Reno from getting too sloshed.

"He won't!" Reno grins, enjoying the drink, even if it's not his usual hard stuff, and indicating the cabin as if to imply someone has to keep an eye on Rufus. "Now, you want an answer?"

"I want a glass of wine," Reeve counters. And with Rude now there to offer glasses, Reeve takes one and holds it out to Reno. Pour it and then he'll get Reno to take a small sip. Don't ask him to think about things, Reno. He's a bit too upset for that.

Reno shrugs and pours the liquor for Reeve. He will even be nice enough to play his taste tester, seeming to wait as patiently as he can for Reeve to cool off a little.

It's now been tested and Reeve waits a few heartbeats to confirm there is nothing untoward about his previously untampered wine. That one he nods and takes the glass himself to drink. Not a sip. He doesn't care to savor it. Instead he throws it back in a single motion and then holds the glass out again. This one he will sip.

Reno fills it, raising a brow. Downing wine seems weird. But, whatever. He's mad, let him do what he will,

After a sip of his second glass, Reeve looks to Reno.

"Well then? Clearly you intended something by inviting me to drink the wine I brought for you. Be done with it."

"Was gonna translate, actually." He seems to be enjoying his own drink well enough. "The boss is great and all, especially at speeches, but he's pretty bad at being straight up sometimes.

So, long story short, what he was trying to tell you in there is that he's worried about you because he does actually care. 'Course you keep calling him a monster. Can't make him happy."

The look Reeve gives Reno at that is one that no doubt shows just how unimpressed he is. He takes another sip to fortify himself before he speaks.

"Your 'boss' does not care about me. He cares about what I can do to help with his own guilt issues. And he earned that guilt. More than I ever did. He worries about me because other than you Turks, I'm the one who knows he's alive. I'm the one he can prove himself to, so he needs me for that as he needs me to actually make up for what he's done."

Another sip, this one actually more of a gulp really, because he's on a roll here in his own mind. Misery loves company. This isn't like Reeve, he doesn't lash out like this, he doesn't. His passion is for building up, not tearing down. But Rufus hurt him too. It was easier to just ignore his feelings. Easier to distance from them. He doesn't like having that wound torn open again.

"Caring about people isn't that. It's... something else." Which isn't true. He was gearing himself up for a rambling tirade about what caring is about, because how could a Turk recognize it when it came right down to the point. But before he can speak he keeps himself from that comment, and not just because the Turks have shown a lot of caring when it comes to Rufus and each other. No, it's because Reno's right, caring means doing what Rufus is doing. Trying to make you reasonable. Trying to make you take care of yourself. All of that. But Reeve is angry. Has been for a while. Since his mother died. And Rufus just prodded at that again. Took away his nice little attempts to hide from his grief behind being so busy that he can barely sleep at night.

"And I am not his business to care about either."

It's a weak protest, as weak as the wine. But it's what he's got. "I'm not his concern."

Reno could not look any more bored than he did while Reeve spoke, swishing the wine in his glass as he waits for Reeve to be done. He even manages to mimic that unimpressed look right back at Reeve.

"Don't sound so sure 'bout that."

Sorry...?

Nah, he needed buttons pushed

Rufus is good at that

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Bedtime here... ignore Rufus, he's pms-ing xD

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